Media / Interviews

Sample Q&A with Author, Tim Ward

Q: You talk about your own book, Savage Breast as a "real-life Da Vinci Code quest." How so?

A: There are three parallels: The Da Vinci Code is a man's 24-hour frenetic search for the lost sacred feminine though modern Europe. Savage Breast is my own three year journey to temples and shines of ancient Europe, where the feminine divine really was worshipped. In Code, evil forces conspire to keep the secret suppressed. In Savage Breast, I explore the actual suppression of the goddess 2,000 years ago. At the end of Code, the hero discovers that what he is searching for has been by his side all along. At the end of Savage Breast, I discover that the real feminine divine is not only with us, but that reconnecting with this spiritual force can radically change men's relationships with women.

Q: You write quite candidly about your problems with women--fear of commitment, messy breakups, including a divorce. Why do you think you -- and so many men -- have a tough time relating to women?

A: I believe most men have a hidden anger against women. Just look at rape, wife abuse, sexual harassment in the workplace. I was horrified to discover, in the course of writing this book, just how much rage I carried towards women. I had always considered myself a sensitive, pro feminist kind of guy. But I had an unconscious belief at women were never going to give me all the love, sex, and care that I needed. And I resented the women I loved. I thought they were manipulating me. Holding something back from me, and using it to control me. I think a lot of men feel similarly thwarted in their relationships. We completely misunderstand what women really want from us. For women it's not about control, but intimate connection.

Q: So, in encountering these goddesses, what did you learn about yourself and how men relate to women?

A: I realized I often saw women in the image of one or another goddess -- Aphrodite the sex goddess, Demeter the divine mother, or Kore the pure maiden. When a man falls in love, it is often because a woman fits the particular archetype of the goddess he believes will fill his deep spiritual need for the feminine. We project that image onto her, and it puts us into a kind of hypnotic trance. Just think of what happens when a pretty girl walks past a construction site: the male workers all project onto her a sex-goddess fantasy, and their attention is absolutely riveted to her. In relationships, men sometimes go on for years relating to their inner goddess archetype, while the real woman wonders why she's not feeling connected to him at all.

Q: What's the one thing you would say to men to help them improve their relationships with women?

A: Give up the idea that a woman is a fantasy-goddess whose purpose in life is to meet your needs. Instead, connect with the real individual who she is.